I'M REALLY TIRED OF THIS!

Those of you who DO KNOW me should be asking what happened? What did Guilherme can no longer accept.
"As visões da vida evoluem conforme a idade, para os jovens é uma aventura eterna, para os maduros é o início da maior jornada de todas, para os antigos é o tempo de contemplar acontecimentos passados e prever acontecimentos futuros." Guilherme M. Takeda
What's wrong with me? Why can't I find someone to meet, someone to REALLY know my true essence? Am I too scary? To dire? Is my approach too direct? Or Am I just always meet the wrong one!?? I'm getting tired of getting avoided, been cut of, dismissed.
Just few (less than few, believe it) kisses and than good bye!? Why did it come to me? If it wasn't interested, why did it bother to come and see?
"Os jovens tem atitude e força, mas não tem sabedoria e experiência. Os velhos detêm a sabedoria e experiência, mas já não possuem a atitude e a força de outrora. Os maduros deveriam estar no equilíbrio, porém não possuem a experiência e a sabedoria dos velhos e nem mais a atitude e a força dos jovens!" Guilherme M. Takeda
The kissing is the begining and the end of all. The death's kiss is the last one someone can receive, the angel's kiss is the first one. The human's kisses are like nails on your flesh, them seem good, but they hurt when the human leaves the way it supposed to follow.
For now on I'm just Hollow, empty of feelings or desires. My dreams are becaming horrible nightmares (or should them be named Daymares?) on my walking slumber.
So gentle, so educated, so intelligent and wise, probably wealth too, but seek and find, than throw away the prize. Even if payed the price for that prize.
Distrust is what comes now! Coldness is the way of my choise. The way I choosed so long ago and forgot the way back on the road. I'll keep walking (no, I'm not drinking... not yet, but sooner or later it can happen), looking for the perfect human for me. I shall not quit this last dream, this last hope, this part of me and my poor soul.
Arise noble knight of the moon, defeat the dragon from inside of me. Kill this beast that drag me down and down from sunrise to the dawn. Kill it and the menace it represents.
Magnificent Afrodite, take away the feelings of my heart, I shall give them to you as an offer. Better, take away my on heart and put some stones on its place. Them I know I'll be just fine, keep doing my business and work, letting go everything that just do no more matter. Eros keep your arrows away of me, nothing can heart more than an arrow on the wrong time and with the wrong human. You who tasted your own power over yourself, understand better my feelings than most of these animals who call themselves Humans. Make their heart burn on flames of love and passion, make it be and let them kill themselves on the way they choose.
A doçura de seus lábios, o brilho de seus cansados olhos, as promessas proferidas por sua firme e confiante voz. Tudo era não mais do que uma mera farsa, escondendo e ocultando a realidade de seu vazio interior, dos medos e receios que vem com a idade. Oriundos de eventos atravessados em sua história, a matar e ocultar os corpos do que hoje chamamos de esperança.